conflict within myself

okay folks. i need help..a lot of help. mostly your opinions, but those help me! i am having SERIOUS conflicts within myself about my major.

p.s. this is mostly me talking to myself and trying to figure out the rest of my life.

(for those of you that dont know, i am going into elementary education, and dont get me wrong, i really REALLY love it. i love the thought of working with kids, i love the thought of having a career to go into right after college, i love the thought of doing what makes me happy for the rest of my life. BUT. i am having problems with this.. so here i go.)

1. i am scared of the parents. i have heard so many horror stories of satan parents that i dont even know if i can handle the thought of even looking at them.

2. i hear it takes over your life. lesson plans everywhere. always trying to plan fun activities. grading papers. decorating. buying supplies. worrying about children. going early, staying late. and getting paid JACK SQUAT for it. always treating everyone like little kids. not being around adults i can relate to.

3. i feel like i wont be challenged intellectually. call me a nerd, but i have this weird obsessing about learning about new things. i sit here and put off my homework to read about weird things, and i collect all my random research. i love learning about religions, (sometimes) philosophy, and other random things that we dont need to talk about. i feel like if i was a teacher i would just be stuck in the same routine of coloring, cut and paste, and paper mache. and while that is WONDERFULLY FUN. i dont know if that's what i want!

4. opportunities. i want to be able to have a lot of them! i want to have options, and exciting things happen to me! i dont wanna be stuck in a classroom, because i feel like if i get my teaching degree that's all i'll be able to do. is teach. i mean, i love it. its fun and such, but i feel like i am getting married to it forever and i wont even be able to like.. i dont know. do normal things.

5. i get nervous thinking about teaching a whole entire class and being responsible for them! there are like seven thousand zillion things that could go wrong, and i'd be the one to blame. and that's not what i like. i like when everyone is happy and nobody says mean things or yells at me.

6. i also read about all these horror stories of the first aid care you'll have to give while being a teacher. (example: a boy had a PENCIL sticking through his leg. all the way. eraser side coming out of his shin. sharpened side coming out his calf. i threw up just thinking about it.)

7. school lunch. even the smell of it makes me heave.



i like the thought of being a teacher because:
1. summers and lots of holidays are off.
2. it makes me happy.
3. it's rewarding. probably one of the most rewarding things ever.
4. (usually) the kids adore you. no matter who you are, or what you do. they love your guts and they want to do everything they can to make you happy.
5. the kids are just adorable.
6. i get the biggest love in my heart when i see a kid. especially when i see them laughing, or playing on a play ground. or just being silly. (i dont mean to sound like a creeper. but they make me so happy!)
7. i know i'll be good at it once i try.

what should i dooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo?! i'm scared of real life. can i major in every single thing in the world? because i also wanna go to culinary school. and make up school. and being cool school. and everything school.

humm. i need to stop sitting in the library. it makes me think too much.