i am not made to date. or to have friends. forreals. i just CANNOT do anything right. but oh well. it provides me with laughs galore! :)
so there's this kid at work that's pretty freaking cute (lets pray he's not reading this) anyways, cute kid. i got the balls to talk to him, and so we're friends. whatever. except he is that one person that i honestly cannot be normal around! or say one normal thing FOR.THE.LIFE.OF.ME.
lets just say i am the queen of awkward :)
awkward experience 1:
i had just got his number, and he was texting me about something (not that important) and then someone (who will remain unnamed) told me about their girl issues. so i was like "oh no! do you have any tampons!?" but right as i went to send that to my friend, work boy texted me. my silly phone got so stressed out and confused so what did it do? IT SENT HIM THAT TEXT MESSAGE. yeah, bad. super awkward. but i just learned to laugh at it and move on!
but that is not all.
awkward experience 2:
it was a really slow day in the call center, so my manager assigned me and a few other people to clean the cubicles. i got the job of using the air compressor to get all the dust out of all the keyboards. well i had these air compressors in my hands, and i was walking around. at that exact moment he called my name, so i walked over to his cubicle. then i did it. i did the worlds most embarrassing thing ever. searching for something to say, i look at the compressed air and i go, "OH! did you want me to blow your thing?!" :D
yeah, didnt think that one through. my awkwardness kicked in and i just stood there with the "oh my gosh what the heck am i thinking why in the world did i do that i want to crawl in a hole and die" face on. then i walked away. awkwardly.
oh and then what did he do?
he set his facebook status to THIS:
QUOTE OF THE DAY! "Do you want me to blow your thing?" -Girl at work (kept anonymous)
:( people were like "woah (name of boy), stop working at a strip club!" blah blah blah.
:/ yeah, and that's not all
awkward experience 3:
i am sitting at a stop light in the car with my friend. she drove. i was the passenger. we were just talking/laughing. whatever. it's a friday, and i had to go to work in about 20 minutes. then. they most joyous thing happened to me. HE CALLED! yeah exciting, right? i thought so too. and so my action showed how extremely i was. we're cheering and what not in the car. i was sure i was finally going to get a date. so i answered the phone after cheering..and i tried to play it all cool. and this is how our awful conversation went:
me: hello?
him: oh hey! what's up?
me: oh nothing..just getting ready for work..what about you?
him: oh yeah. nothing. who's your friend?
me: what?
him: who.is.your.friend?
me: huh? kami? uhh..what? are you..watching me? (frantically looking around)
him: oh haha. yeah.
me: WHAT?! WHERE!? (trying to peer into the dark tinted windows of the truck next to me)
him: HAHA! SUCKER! (peeping his head into the light)
me: oh..haha..well...this is great. umm..well. i'll see you at work?
him: yeah, come say hi to me when you get there!
me: yeah, okay. we'll see about that.
i got to work. and i beat him there so i texted him and was like..SUCKER! you drive slow! come say hi when you get here. yeah, he didnt come say hi. or text me back.
what the heck is my problem!? :(
and then. another awkward story. not with the same kid though, different kid. mystery kid. or should i say kids?
ha.
so i was at the gym after work. it's like 9:30 at night, and there are 10000 really great boys. and i had just finished running and i was riding the bike to cool down a bit. and there was this kid and i was for sure we were going to get married. so i texted my cousin and told her about him. and then all of a sudden his twin pops up! so i was like woah! this cant get any better! so i tell her. then she has the brilliant plan for me to go talk to them so i was like YEAH! IMMA DO THIS! so i walk up to them all cutesy and i smile real excitedly big and say hi.
oh dear their faces were priceless. i'm sure mine was too. giddy little five year old.
but them. i got the eyeball lookdown stink face look. then they walked away. LAUGHING.
so i stood there for a second and played it cool and then RAN into the girls locker room. you better believe i hid in there until i knew they were gone.
not so brilliant of an idea. i just dont know why i cant catch a break!
BOOO ON MY AWKWARDNESS.
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