THAT was close.

woahhh now. i was sitting here (not being able to sleep) and realized that there are only three more days in March...THREE. yesterday i was celebrating my freakin birthday and then BAM all of a sudden it's practically april. when in the heck did any of this happen?!

that's mostly the question i've been asking all year. what.the.heck.

like hello. my life is about to change forever. i am moving out. going to college. growing up. i dont want to grow up, i dont even know how! and i have to probably start acting civilized, and get a job, and make friends or something.

oh for heck sakes. i might be married in like...the next five years.

but first i have to figure out how to get a date.

boo on growing up. it's freaking me out. also the fact that time flies, really is super crazy too. i want to build a time machine and go back to when i was a little baby and people would just feed me and carry me around and let me watch cartoons all day. That would probably be the best thing EVER.

or at least i need to get a job so i can stop stressing about money so much. it's really starting to get on my nerves. actually, everything is.
mostly all i do is eat, sleep, watch tv and go to the gym.everything else can just disappear.

but really, i love my life. i have the best family that anyone could ask for and i am so thankful that they always have my back and i dont need anyone else in the world as long as i have them.
and i am sooo thankful to have all the things that i have, and be so blessed to have grown up with the church, because heaven knows where i'd be at this point in my life without is. probably in a mangled mess on the side of the road or something.

what an awesome life i have! seriously! :)

let me make you a promise...

I have been thinking and thinking about how I can motivate myself to write more blog posts, because I really do enjoy it, I just never think I have anything worth while to say, but then again I never have anything worth while to say, but I say it anyways! so here is my promise...I will write at least two blog posts a month. I think that's a pretty rockin promise if you ask me, because really..nobody wants to hear more than that...then i'd just get boring and..annoying.

so everyone who constantly bothers me about writing more, be happy with this little promise i'm giving you.
hm..i dont know if i really want to call this a promise, it's kinda freaking me out a little. maybe a challenge. yeah! i like that more, because if i dont do it, people wont come after me and use it against me. so go back and read everything i just wrote, but instead of the word promise replace it with challenge :)

there. now you cant hold it against me when i fail. HA.

anyways, so mostly all i wanted to say was uh HELLO. i saw my heart on an ultrasound they did on it. you know when preggo ladies see their little baby and nobody can tell what it is and they're freaking out because "oh my gosh it's a sea monkey in your belly that is currently half tadpole" WELL i saw my heart, but guess what. it looked like the things in the pictures and movies and commercials, only A LOT COOLER BECAUSE IT WAS MY OWN HEART NOT SOME FAKE ONE THAT THEY MIGHT HAVE MADE UP. i was so excited. i am still exctited. i tell practically everyone about it, but nobody seems to be as excited as me!

probably because they are jealous. and they have a right to be, because it was SO COOL.

the poor lady doing it was probably so annoyed because i kept talkig and talking about how excited i was about it, but really, it was so cool.

and i saw it beating. and i had these flappy things moving around. and it was rushing blood in and out, and i was just so amazed! i wish i would have gotten a picture of it. i would frame it and put it on the shelf above my bed. you may thing i am weird, but seriously, if you ever got the chance to see that, you would be going on and on and on about this too. because really. ah.

i loved it so much. but anyways, moral of the story. i have a heart :)horray for me.

i also had to get my blood drawn (gosh you'd think i was near death with all the times that i go to the doctor!) but i was all by myself and it was my first time and i was so so nervous because i hate needles and doctors and mean things and mostly just the thought of it, but the lady was so nice! i asked her if there was anyone to hold my hand, and i think she thought i was kidding because she just laughed at me! but i wasnt kidding! i wanted someone to hold my hand!

anyways. she stuck that thing into me and i sang a song to her and then she was done and it didnt even hurt and i didnt even cry or scream!

yay for me! i think maybe i am one step closer to being able to survive in the world of college. yesssssss.

school is going good if you were wondering.
i dont go that much, so maybe it's worse off than i think..but hey. i can do that.

OH MY GOSH. i did get chased down by this lady though. i walk in at like...8:50..and my class started at 9. this lady came runnningggg up to me yelling "YOU CANT COME HERE! YOUR SHORTS ARE TOO SHORT!" and i was so confused because really she could have been having a heart attack about the issue of me coming to school in some shorts. so i was just giving her my puzzled look and i was like um okay. i'll just go home and blah blah blah. i love how they would rather have me go home then stay in some shorts that werent even bad.

i am baffled. but i laughed. except i had to go to math because i need to pass that class so i walked out to my car, moved it to the back parking lot, and walked back into school.

so in your face heart attack lady :)

anyways. wow. i think i could write a book about stuff that has been going on! oh. but i do need some help. i need to plan a fundraiser to earn money for the microenterprise program that i'm helping with in thailand, but i am a little unsure of what to do for this fundraiser. i kinda want it to be a big deal, just because we'll be having 40+ people available to work on it, and we want to earn $2000+ soooooo if you have an idea, you should help me out :)

how much longer..

how much longer..until winter is over...29 days

how much longer..until i graduate...WAY too long. like three months too long.

how much longer..do i have to endure this cold season and the death of school?

BOO. i am cold. and tired. and annoyed at all the things called school. and the tech center. and i guess since jordan school district got screwed over that the teachers are on strike or something stupid and they refuse to do any extracurricular activities. yes. this includes prom, spring sports, clubs. anything. LAME. but whatever. its not like i go anyways. i havent been to first period ALLLL quarter. and guess what..its midterms.BUT the upside of this? i havent been marked absent this whole time! HAHA! in your face attendance policy!

buttt guess what?! someone rubbed freakin poo. or chocolate. on my car! i'm freakin pissed off like no other! so if it was you, i will find you. and take you down.

i also found a new love. exercise! i thought i hated it..but guess what? i totally dont! mostly i love going to the classes, even though they're harder than heck...its so fun! so my lovely cousin melanie inspired me to do something great called one day i am going to be just like her and be an instructor! because..how fun would that be!?

OH. also...i really enjoy this one person called this kid that works there. :) only secretly so you cant tell anyone. i told my mom and then made her come and look a him..and she wasnt impressed with his looks. but i am!YEAH I AM.

but whatever. its not like i can get a normal date to save my life.
anyways, last weekend was my WONDERFUL grandma's 70th birthday. she is one of the greatest people in the entire world. and i'm not even kidding. so we had a huge celebration to...celebrate of course! we had a yum yum yummy dinner and then shared the things we loved about her..and then..DANCE PARTY BABY! :) it was probably the best thing ever..and i got to wear my audrey hepburn dress. LOVE IT. i guess i'll add some pictures or something..





WOAH. I JUST HAVE DEJAVU ABOUT WRITING THIS BLOG. weirdy. haha.

Valentines Day...

soooooo..as we all know i should be at the gym, but i could NOT keep this to myself. you guys have no idea what kind of treat you are in for today ;)

i have been thinking, thinking, thinking of what in the world should i get my valentines. (yes with an s. ;)) but anyways. of course i waiting until the LAST SECOND to do any of my shopping, and praise the lord i found the PERFECT gift of all time.

so everyone. here it is. i know you're searching too and you just cant find the right thing. well, folks. the heavens have answered our prayers. its the "warmest most personal gift you can share!" hazza!

this is why i'm weird.

i made a list of things that give me anxiety, as you know :) and its GREAT! actually i haven't read it in almost two months...weirdy weird weird how time flies! and i wasnt even having fun. but anyways. this list only contains a few things that give me extreme anxiety to the point of i might rip my hair out.

dont make fun of me. mmkay? actually..you can. because i make fun of myself. i love it.

okay!

ehm..
THINGS THAT GIVE ME ANXIETY: (by the way, its a long list.)

1. when people walk around the airplane when the seatbelt sign is on.
2. when i want to sing, but i dont know the words
3. proper people
4. college
5 everything except chocolate and harry potter
6. being fat
8. techno music
9. my mental issues
10. peeing on airplanes
11. ghostbuster airplane toilet movie
12. loud flushing toilets
13. having my brain stem ache and merrit not being there to massage it.
14. boys that wear basketball (or any sports clothes) 24/7
15. small areas
16. chipped fingernail polish
17. when people i dont know make me eat at their house
18. nylons
19. Mrs. Pay
20. sharing rooms with people
21. grimy things that i can escape.
22. people who are over the age of two and still dont brush their hair.
23. playing games with my mom
24. getting on/off trains
25. not knowing what time it is
26. mumblers
27. my room that becomes magically messy
28. MATH.
29. driving at night
30. driving in traffic
31. driving a mini van
32. being the only person in a store
33. intense face to face conversations
34. kash.
35. computers
36. people telling me important things because i always forget to listen
37. recipts that i dont know where to put but i know i'll maybe need them one day because maybe i want to take this item of clothing that i bought back.
38. too small of jeans
39. trying to fall asleep with glasses on my face and then it hurts but i dont know where to put them
40. having to use the bathroom but being at someones house were its really a lotta bit to awkward to do it.

:) okay i guess i'll stop there.

even while writing that i kinda get like the inside anxiety thing going on! what the heck!
anyways. what things give you anxiety?! i wanna know!

My Lists

So as we all know, i made a couple of lists while over the Christmas break. Believe it or not these lists practically define my life. So I thought it would be appropriate to share them with you...so here you go. I am going to type exatly what i wrote in black, and then add my own little commentary in red. just so you aren't totally confused with my strange thinking brain.

LIST #1

reasons why why I cant be granola

1. -----------^ (exactly that. i wrote two why's. i am not sure why. or what was going on with my brain at that moment...but...i did it nonethelesss.)
2. too fat (they gotta be a bean pole)
3. pure white baby skin (i am sensitive to the sun! :( and my body refuses to get tan.)
4. I cant breathe in the wilderness.
5. I hate hairy armpits (they hurt!)
6. greasy hair. (it seriously grosses me out. and i get it in like 45 minutes so not showering for 3 weeks is out of the question. plus if i dont shower every day i get hair hurt!)
7. I HATE ALL THE CHACOS IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD.
8. my back hurts
9. MOLE (its gross. you cant be granola and have a huge fat mole on your face)
10. too short of hair. (i feel like you need to have long hippy hair. i dont.)
11. too short (again with the bean pole thing.)
12. no red hair for me (unless its fake)
13. i have zits
14. my voice is too loud
15. i love tv. (so sue me! i find pleasure in mindlessly watching tv for an evening.)

wow! this is exciting. believe me....the next list is the best. but i am thinking i will save it for another post...just because people always tell me i dont post enought, but sometimes i just have nothing to say! so if i do this..i can have something to say and post more often! plus i have a lot of things i need to add to this next what.

PREVIEW: Things that give me ANXIETY.

believe me it is going to be good :) tune in soon.

who made up the thing called college?!

so hello. college is coming closer and closer and it gives me stress!
i am not exactly sure what i am supposed to do and i feel like the whole thing is a big huge mystery! also, there is so much to do it just is a lotta bit too stressful! like figuring out what classes to take, what i want to major in, where to live, who to live with, where to find money (#1 stress causer), ect.

I was like really wanting to major in baking and pastry arts, open my own little shop blah blah blah. but now i dont really feel like i want to do that! When we were in Mexico most of the spanish speakers got sick and couldnt go to the village, so i had to teach the students. and it just made me realize how much i loveee working with kids and teaching. But you see..there is a problem with that because i HATE the school system. I think it is such a terrible way to grade students and just..boo! the way the conduct everything drives me crazy.

I also dont want to be in the position of "the teacher" nor do i want to deal with being in the position of being constantly bothered by the people higher up in the system.

Thats hard for me though because i love teaching and the kids so much! arghhh.

Anyways so that is what is in my brain right now. interesting? NOT. it never is.

Today i learned a valuable lesson...dont try and text and play bejewled at the same time. it really is super hard! and people get mad at you because you dont text the words right. so just if the thought ever runs through your mind, DONT DO IT!

hmm. i got my new birthday laptop in the mail today :) it has been on since 2:30 and being used, of course! there is so much to do! and i figured...i might as well update my blog because i could either work out, go to bed, or do this. and i picked this.

but it is such a nice laptop! i am practically obsessed with it. i took like 800 pictures of myself with the camera webcam thingy. soo entertaininggggg!

also, i am watching high school musical 3. i know its like a super dorky movie and what not, but i am not going to lie i love it. i secretly wish that my life was that movie. or actually maybe i wish i looked like vanessa, and had a hottie like zac!

i could write a book about all the movies i wish my life were like. buttt instead i wont because that would probably be the worlds most boring book in the entire planet earth! but i did make a few lists of things while i was sitting on the plane to mexico! it was the best thing ever. i will give you a little preview.
1. reasons why i am not granola
2. things that give me anxiety
3. colors that make me want to puke.

:) you're going to enjoy them. but too bad for you because i am wayyy too lazy to walk down to my bedroom to get my notebook.