i leave on wednesday. yeah, like...this upcoming one.
as in...i have 4.5 days on this planet i like to call america.
and i'm living in denial.
i dont like to think about the fact that i havent even started packing.
or the fact that i can barely say hello in russian.
or the face that i am moving to the frozen tundra.
or that i'm leaving everything i know to be alone in this scary place doing something really scary that i have no idea how to do.
or the fact that i'm going to miss my older sister coming home...whom i havent seen in a year and a half.
or the fact that i'm missing easter...valentines day..presidents day..ryan's birthday...memorial day..st patricks day..and all the other days.
there's a lot of facts that i'm stressing hardcore about. and i just wanna cry.
is it bad that i already feel alone...and i havent even left yet?
:(
the worst part is. everyone's encouraging words make it WORSE. stop telling me i'm going to be okay. i know i will. just let me stress out because i'm doing something really scary!
we all know how much i hate the unknown. and literally...this whole thing is the unknown. i found out yesterday that i'm leaving wednesday. i dont know who i'll be living with...what to expect...NOTHING.
literally.
my eyeballs are going to fall out from crying so much. all i want are a million hugs. no words. just hugs.
:(
in other news.....
:))))))))))))))))))))))))
my birthday dinner :) 
he's back! :) whaat!i also cut my own hair. i wouldnt recommend it to anyone.
i dont know what i was thinking...it was a good idea at the time. i was practicing! i didnt wanna trust a crazy eastern european to cut my hair, so i thought i would just do it myself.
bad idea.
i trust them over myself any day.
love this. it will be my life for the next 6 months. :)
also, this was pretty legit. it's not making me feel any better though. i'm still freaking out.
mehhhhhhh.
The Kiev Live - Timelapse from Oleg Finger on Vimeo.
3 comments:
I love you so much M, and am very proud of you! You inspire me. I can't imagine what you are feeling right now and how scared you must be my sweeties! ;) But always remember I am only a text away no matter the time... This is why I got that phone babe, because anytime you are feeling a lone I want you to text me so you know I'm here waiting for you with all my heart! I cant wait to see your face tomorrow! Love you babe
MALLORY!!! I know the feeling baby girl! just pack lots of chocolate and comfort foods haha (i'm a fat kid here...give me a break!) also take tons of pictures to hang up. it's so nice to have a little bit of home with you. And I know you don't like words of encouragement...but you'll be awesome :) I'm SO excited for you! enjoy every minute you're there...it'll be over before you know it! if you need any lesson plans or just help in general...email me! catelin.meyer@gmail.com I love you and be safe!! xoxoxo
ps. keep this ryan guy around. he's a keeper ;) melts.my.heart.
Have a marvy time, Mallory. Hugs and love to you. From your Aunt Lori.
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