lets play!

i hate how in the moment of life, you dont find the joy. you dont realize how happy you are, or how lucky you are to have what you actually have. and then after...you look back and wish and wish that you could have everything back to where it was.
i wish so badly i could be back in elementary school, or even middle school.
but honestly, i'd even go back to the WONDERFUL summer that i had. i did so many fun things, and i got to be a kid again.
running around pretending to be a ghostbuster with the kids i nannied, riding on the back of an elephant, strutting my stuff down the streets of portland, and having dance parties on the roof of a hotel in thailand until the wee hours of the morning.
it was what i call a picture perfect summer. :)
but it's october now. oc.freaking.tober. and i dont know how this happened, really. i have lived here for almost two months (only 7 months leftttt!) and merrit leaves in 9 days. i cry almost constantly about this. i cried in class today haha. oh man, this is going to be the longesttttt 18 months of my life. i'll be over halfway done with college, i will probably have a job that you dont get paid minimum for doing back breaking work, and possibly i will have a grasp on what life is all about. this isnt what i like to talk about though.

anyways, the real reason why i am reminiscing on my wonderful summer, is how much i wish i could just remember to play, and find the light and joy in life..no matter how dark the clouds are over my head.



 this video helped me remember all the funny silly times i had this summer, running around the house pretending to be chasing ghosts. why do we have to grow up? oh yeah, that's right. we dont.

thats a major reason why i love LOVE my major. i get to help kids play, and learn, and do both at the same time. it's what i'm so excited about.

anyways, while walking home today, i had the most wonderfully glorious sight:

the storm was a brewin', and i was excited. i kept seeing lightning in the distance, and could only PRAY that i wouldnt get attacked by the pouring rain that was to come. i love rain, and i love dancing in it. but when i have all my homework and my laptop, there would have been some angry words dancing around my head.

just past that soccer field, there is a giant parking lot i walk through to get to my apartment. it's always full when i am walking home, and there are ALWAYS people driving around searching for a parking spot, but they can never find it...because there isnt one! so they end up deciding to stalk people walking through to parking lot, because they assume i am going to my car. i'm not. and it's always funny because they will be about 5 feet behind me, and throughout the ENTIRE parking lot they follow me, and get all disappointed once i get to the grassy patch and still dont get into a car :) the people that actually ask are wonderful, because i dont feel like i am being watched, and i hate that. plus i dont like that they are most likely looking at my butt. i mean, go ahead and look. but stop staring at it! ;)

maybe i should put a sign on my backpack that says "stop following me, i'm not going to my car. BACK OFF!"

i'll be sure to make that today.

anyways, does nobody read this anymore!? i am getting depressed and less and less desirous to update ya'lls on my life.
that's my hint of telling you to comment. because they make me happy and feel less lonely.

also, any tips on how to survive this next 18 months of solitude would be helpful.