this is kinda embarrassing

okay, i dont know if anyone really knows this about me..well probably everyone does but i just feel like talking about this anyways. i have this huge fear of probably the stupidest thing on the planet earth...

mascots.

i know, it's like something a freaking 3 year old would say, but trust me i have tried so hard to overcome this fear. (by the way, i looked it up, it's called Masklophobia--the fear of mascots..i'm not the only one!) but anyways, i have just tried to talk myself out of this for soo long but it's not working. i am convinced that once i finally find someone to date (heaven knows when that's going to happen) but WHEN i do...one day he'll surprise me and be like the freaking mascot of something..and that will be that because i wont be able to talk to him ever again!

anyways, i was thinking about my past experiences with them..and i dont even have a traumatic one..BUT i do have this memory of when utah had the indoor soccer team Freeze or whatever the heck their name was. they had this FREAKY mascot...it was like  a giant blue bear looking thing with dreads. (i tried finding a picture but i couldnt. okay, actually i didnt really try that hard. but you'll get over it)

so we had like season tickets or something, i dont even remember. all i know is we went a lot. and one time we went with these people in the neighborhood (i've had a crush on one of their sons since like...age 6) so blah blah blah, we're just at the game having a jolly good time..and then one of the worker guys comes over and asks if our family wants to go on the field during halftime and play one of the shooting games or whatever, and i was really excited at first! but then the fear of having to see that freaking mascot up close came over my entire body and i could not make myself get down on that stupid field. so one of the boys from the other family went in my place.

can i be a bigger baby!?

and at soccer games even know...me being a freaking 18 year old adult...i see that stupid mascot and my stupid heart like POUNDS and i sweat! once i spent the whole game running around the stadium because i swear he follows me everywhere i go. i'll hide in the bathroom foreverrrrrr.

it's kind of embarrassing..i cant believe i am even admitting all of this. i guess it doesnt even matter to anyone else.

oh well, that's all i wanted to say. i always feel awkward ending blog posts..i never know what to say! i guess it's the same with my journal, i kinda just wanna end it mid sentence because i realize that what i'm talking about is soo lame and pointless. so i guess i'll just be done now....